Tuesday, February 19, 2008

More life lessons...

The more I travel, the more I learn about myself as I interact with others. This time it's the suggestions that other people freely give me without my asking for them...

Suggest - definition
a: to seek to influence
b: to call forth
c: to mention or imply as a possibility

I have come to realize that I am not a very suggestible person. I have also realized that I am a little ADHD. It's all part of what I call tunnel vision. Once I have my mind made up, I am not open to input most of the time. By the time I vocalize my intentions, I am usually not interested in input. I guess I feel that I get enough input from my family that anyone else is just over kill. I'm 41 for goodness sake, don't I have the right to make choices of my very own?

I'm tired of getting in trouble for not taking suggestions. They can start with "why don't you..." when what they really mean is "you must do as I say". Sort of the difference between A and C in the definition. It should be C but it ends up being A. They seek to influence me when I already have my mind pretty much made up. Now I'm not saying not to make suggestions, I'm saying to have low expectations of the person you are making them to actually following them. That way, you have a higher chance of not being disappointed.

So when you make suggestions, to anyone, please try to be prepared for them not to want the input they did not ask for first. This way, you don't get pissed off when they blow you off. It just might be that they already know exactly what they want to do. While well intended, your suggestion might just be the most unwanted thing they hear all day.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Headed Home From Tucson

Well I'm headed home from Tucson.

I'm sooooo tired but I had such a nice time. It's hard when you are so tired too. I'm glad to have such good friends who understand the achey body you end up with standing and walking for hours a day. I worked the Bead Ren show for 8 days and then Aleta walked my butt all over the Tucson Electric Park, Gem Mall, Hollidome and the shows on Freeway near Congress. I got to see friends I had not seen in a year and I had such a good time shopping with a bead shop. Just watching the quantities of beads bought at one vendor only further convinces me that they need 2 levels of wholesale: Designer and real wholesale to brick and morter businesses only. The latter having large minimums and refusing to sell a single strand to anyone. If you are a real business a single strand would more likely be a sample given to an already established customer. It was fun to see the vendor's faces light up when they saw the number of strands being sold in one sale. They did not seem to have had a good show. The economy sucks and there were just too many crowds of people that I would be willing to bet all were just friends who got a resale permit just to be able to buy at the same price as the local bead shop. It's not fair to the shops or the vendors. As a designer, I would not mind a show where they were willing to sell me at a better price than retail and not as good as the local bead shop. Because, after all, where would we be without the local bead shop. Whether it's a great one like we have in Redding, CA, or a mediocre one like I hear are out there. It was just so much fun, I am looking forward to a nice rest to catch up and let my body get back to normal.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

trying to help?

Why is it that when you tell someone something, they try to help you into another direction?

Or an affirmative statement becomes a debate? It seems to happen to me occasionally, usually with people who don't realize I am a tunnel vision person. By the time I actually express and idea I generally have my mind made up and it's very frustrating when they won't let their cool idea go. Like if I picked beads out for a project or had the stitch in my head that I plan to use to get to the picture I have already created in my head, they try to steer me in another direction. They are only trying to help but still.

I can't give a for instance because the person(s) involved would get their feelings hurt when that certainly would not be my intention. There would be oodles less debate in my life if people would just let me stick with what I already stated in generally a very affirmative manner was my goal. If I want to use a product that you don't like, that is fine. I most likely don't like something you use and that is ok too. I guess we are all guilty of it at one time of another, but hey if we tried to just let people stick with their visions, and it turned out to be wrong, it was their wrong turn to make. It's usually not life or death - all will be right with the world again whether they crash and burn or flourish in most cases. How do you tell a friend though that the suggestions he or she makes could be more frustrating than helpful. Like if you tell someone you are in the middle of a thought and they still keep talking/suggesting? Ya don't want it to ruin a fantastic relationship otherwise but still, it sort of hinders the flow of things huh?

Another issue is when you make a statement of fact and they discount it... right on the spot. For instance, I know that the light will turn red after it turns yellow, and you say - maybe... or just a general fact - something from the news - something from anywhere - a general statement of fact - bold as can be - and generally things I can back up, will often be met with for lack of a better word skepticism. If I make a statement of fact, I don't generally want input one way or the other from the person I am talking to.

We all have our own preferences. Some beaders are catalog beaders. I am so not a catalog beader. I buy beads in person unless there is virtually no way to screw up getting more of something I already have... I am a see bead buyer. Mishaps in buying things on line have made me not really interested in buying on like much at all. I have friends who buy all their beads online. I have another friend who gets fantastic buys on ebay. Clothes and all sorts of goodies. It all looks great to me when she shows me but it's just not a bridge I choose to jump off of. Still another friend loves craigs list. I am not a craigs lister as far as purchasing things from strangers. There are too many weirdo's out there, and I'm a little paranoid. It's still my choice and no amount of huffing and puffing from anyone is really going to change my mind at that moment and that is ok too. Make a suggestion sometime but if it's met with a brick wall, let them have that brick wall if they want to. It's their wall anyway isn't it? They can always change their mind and follow your advise later. I know I did when I got the new laptop. Several very nice well meaning people told me to try the newspaper or craigs list or get a dell. I wanted a Toshiba. I did get a dell, so I did change my mind. It's not all bad but I get to change my mind in my own schedule, and you do too.

I adore the people in my life but at 41, I would hope that I had gotten to an age where I get to make my own mistakes if I choose to. Other people's personal experiences can be educational, but not always mesh with the pre plotted plan I have already in my minds eye. Give people a break. Let them do things their way. If it's not something life threatening, they might have a good idea afterall.

And just because I seem annoyed with the debate over something I just stated was affirmatively in my brain, it does not mean I'm angry. Just because I stick to the rules and have to correct others on my list for not doing so, also does not make me angry. I likes it the way I likes it. Live with it! LOL

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Suddenly I'm FREE!

Well Tucson has not been nearly as fun as I had hoped...

The show was painfully slow making the boss painfully irritable.

Wednesday, I got violently ill from dust on beads I had been stringing for sale... had an asthma attack, got sick as a result of coughing too much and too hard.

Thursday morning, I felt like I had been run over by a truck, and the boss was as uncaring about the whole thing as he possibly could be. A little unfair, since I got sick because of something at his booth. I told him I almost called him to see if I could not come in today. He informed me that he didn't hire people who called in sick. I told him I didn't think people planned to be sick....

The result was him being picky over a phone number not being written on a check, but was on a biz card collected from the customer. He harped on it until I was sick, sick, sick of hearing it. The initial response from me was I'm sorry. I made the mistake and I had owned up to it, so why would anyone want to rub your nose in it so much it made you quit?

I have no clue but after asking him to please drop it, I was informed that it was his booth and I either could like it or lump it... basically a threat to fire me.

Result was a panic attack that I didn't need feeling as bad as I did and I did some math... The pay was in my favor by $15 dollars, so I gave him one more chance by telling him I didn't appreciate being threatened and he had the same basic response - that it was his business and I could basically like it or lump it. I told him I was in the green with him and that I didn't even want it and I quit. I told him I wished him the best and walked away with my head held high.

This was not the first time he had threatened me and this week he had been unfair a couple times and on the first time, I made a mental note that it was going to be a case of three strikes and you are out. I deserve better than that. EVERYONE does. I worked in a job years ago where I got the panic attacks from a boss that was just awful. So after one strike on Tuesday, one Wednesday, today was the straw that broke the camel's back after being so sick yesterday and the boss was as uncaring about it as possible. His product nearly put me in the emergency room and he really didn't care. But then he doesn't seem to care about anyone but himself anyway, so I'm not surprised. The two that run the biz deserve each other. Both so miserable in their own lives that they share the misery with all who are near them.

I found another place to work for a day or two, so it's not an entire loss. I feel free.

I worked for this company and I learned lots and got lots of cool beads over the years. I even got sent to Hawaii to work a show. It is not all bad but I'm guessing stress from the economy sucking and the market flooded with way too many shows, is taxing all the dealers. More is not always better. Maybe that is the cause of all of this.

I know the song is "suddenly I see" but in my head tonight, it's "suddenly I'm free". I feel like a huge weight was lifted off my back. I am working for a completely stress free company for whatever days she will have me. It's a fun crew and I am looking forward to working tomorrow way more than I was this morning.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Day 2 Tucson

Sorry I didn't post yesterday - I was pooped.

I got beadz!!!! And I had such a nice couple days!!!! We skipped the Beadwork party tonight as we were both wanting to get home and relax.

I am going to take pics and will try to post them soon.

I have been having fun with customers - helping them pick beads out, beating the customer service happening at our other booth *VBG*

Off to bed and on to more beads!!

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Tucson or Bust!!!

Well, Greyhound to Oakland... Bart to Fremont.... Brother's house for the nite and out from San Jose this morning stopped in LA for 20 min to off load and reload passengers and I'm FINALLY in Tucson!!! Well I did leave out the part about almost not making it out of Redding due to snow in the mountains to the north.

Southwest Airlines still sucks. I thought that years back when I volunteered to stay longer eons ago. They charged my credit card for it and my luggage went to LA without me and didn't get back to me for 48 hours. Today I experienced the worst landing I have ever rode out... even the flight attendant commented a dig at the pilot about it. I was not advised about the LA stop over - I paid for a non-stop flight.... It was not non-stop.

But I'm here!!!! BRING ON DA BEADS!!!!

Work a bead show.... come home with money AND beads! :-D