Wednesday, December 28, 2005
I don't understand people who insist on controlling a friendship. I mean isn't it supposed to be a two way street? Dictionary.com says that it's:
friendship n.
1. The quality or condition of being friends.
2. A friendly relationship: formed many new friendships over the summer.
3. Friendliness; good will: a policy of friendship toward other nations.
But I have known people who don't let it go both ways. They either take from me and give nothing or they run the whole thing. They choose when and how you can communicate with them. If they are not in the mood, then you have no choice but to sit in silence. They are the only one who can be a strong, confident person.
This year I will not let the bullies get to me either. You know the ones - fake sweet to you one minute and then using their power against you the next? Never know when they will turn on you? Bosses, relatives and friends, I have one in each category and it sure sucks when they pull that crap. They later apologize but who are they fooling? If I walked up to you and kicked you in the leg - said I was sorry and did the same thing every day for a week - how long would you think my apologies were sincere? Just because you are someone's boss, doesn't mean you get to treat people like they are nothing. Just because you are a friend or a relative doesn't mean you can kick the ones closest to you and get away with it, time and time again. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
I do have a few very close friends who are there for me no matter what. And that I am very thankful. It's been a long year and I am hoping for lots of good friendship in 2006.
1) Bead more.
2) Keep some people close and others farther away.
3) Don't mix business with friendships - no matter how hard I have tried; it always bites me in the ass. The friends can't seem to keep the 2 separate. Business things are on their own and the friendship should be a totally separate thing.
4) Try harder.
5) Take better care of me.
6) Make sure the people who really mean something to me know it.
7) Be careful who I trust with my feelings, because they could just get thrown back in my face.
8) Don't suffer fools lightly.
9) Explore my bead dreams and make them come to life.
10) Know my mind and don't let others crush my spirit.
11) Don't let others bad moods effect me.
12) Love the ones who need it most.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
I did it!
I'm in the holiday spirit now!!!
Back to the beads!
Beading out.
Monday, October 10, 2005
To bead or not to bead... That IS the question!
I'm about to head away for 2 weeks and there will be beading done on that trip as well as working a bead show. Two weeks with people I miss will be a nice diversion.
Beady things just have to happen for me.
Hope they are happening for you.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Blocked and Bullied
It doesn't help that I had a pissing match with a jerk about how I run my e-mail list. In the end - my expecting him to follow the rules constituted a power/ego issue. He simply couldn't see that he was breaking rules and that is why his post was not allowed through. When I told him that a man would think it was about control and power, he countered by accusing me of having penis envy... Ya right. In the end, I asked him to stop e-mailing me, he informed me that he could do what ever he wanted whenever he wanted and I filed a grievance with AOL against him. He could not see that sending me nasty e-mails after I asked him to stop was harassment. Male Bully behavior just sucks anyway. Odd thing was that AOL was putting his e-mail in my spam folder. Maybe they were trying to tell me they had nothing but CRAP in them? LOL Never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person?
I also had a comment come from my site asking for a pattern that I designed that was not up but the inference was for it to be given. Why is it that there are beaders out there who want you to keep putting out new patterns but none of them expect to have to pay for them? They want us to stay in "business" with no income? Come on people! You will buy beads - you will buy books but come across a private designer you don’t want to pay them for their hard work? You would rather pay a huge publishing company for a book but not put dollars in the pocket of a designer directly??? This just doesn't make any sense to me. I would much rather buy a book or a pattern or a kit directly than to give a percentage to ANYONE else who didn't participate in the creative process.
Friday, September 02, 2005
Amazed and Confused
For the learning list to be productive, most of the members need to participate. They are either there to learn or help others learn. This isn't a list to talk about your personal things - it's a bead list to learn beading on. It has to be give and take. In regard to my time that I use to keep the list going, I want it to be successful. I want people to share beading information. Share info on a new book. Share the new project you just made.
I went to the archives this morning and I looked at how excited we all were to have a list to discuss the mechanics of beading on. We need to have the ones who want to learn speak up and tell the ones who know what to help them with. The ones who know need to help the ones who want to learn. Anyone who doesn't participate is sort of doing nothing and gaining info but giving nothing in return. I thought that was pretty unfair. So I told the entire list that if you want to be here - you need to participate. I told them I knew it sounded rough but it was the bare bones of the situation. I simply don't feel it's fair for a big part of the membership to not give anything. Many people are on every bead list they can find and share nothing on any of them. They get the benefits and no one gets anything back from them.
So I'm amazed that people can't grasp the idea that for the list to work properly, we all have to put something into it. I give my time and I want it to work properly.
The part that confuses me is that people who are on other lists of mine left them as well. What's up with that? One in particular actually participates on the list, so I really don't know why she got her panties in a bunch, she was not at all who I directed my post to at all. So what if I'm upset with people who don't bother to participate on the list? What's it to anyone who does? Shouldn't they want to have something shared as well as do the sharing themselves?
I love beads but there are times when the people in the beading community amaze and confuse me.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Doh!
The weather is cooler yesterday and today but I think that tomorrow it will be hotter again. I was just not meant to stay where it's this hot! I think 80 is hot enough and I don't need it to be any hotter. I love thick blankets - hot soup - hot tea - hot showers... all things that can get me warmer but there is really nothing that I can just do to make me cool enough.
Back to the beads!
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Lazy Days
So I have had what will end up being 3 vacations this summer and the 3rd should have been productive and I have 5 days left to make that happen
We shall see!
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Warning - Rambling post.....
Beads have been everywhere for me the last week or so though. Even little things like scanning a beady article for a friend or seeing beaded clothes at the store. I have been making these really cool crystal bracelets. Made one in Crystal AB
http://members.aol.com/violetbead/BEADWORK/SparkleBrac.jpg
then I had to make a purple one :-) Lilac Swar - Sparkle Sparkle!!! I'm wearing that one. The crystal one is a little dressier than I wear on a daily basis. Pretty though. There is a prospective beady student when I get back. I will see a couple beady friends when I am in LA if I get time. Spending time with people I love and getting a little break.... ahhhhh what a life!
I have been spending time with my nephew and his new wife. She had a little boy when they got together and I can see all kinds of great changes in him since they got married. Both the stability of 2 parents and him maturing into a pleasant little boy have to do with that. Fun and sun and family - a very nice summer indeed this year!
I have concluded once again that life is what you make of it. Got Lemons? Make Lemonade! No one is going to pick you up - you have to get up off your ass and make the first move yourself! The rest will follow if you keep a positive outlook.
I have to go have more fun now!
Monday, July 25, 2005
Unshelling the hermit in me
And then poured the beads. Two new rings in basically two days. Possible kit in the makings and revenue from creativity! Imagine that!!! Who came up with that idea? It's much more fun to have $$ to spend on beads and the bills. I am planning another vacation soon. This one will further remove the hermit shell and re-energize me with beading ideas. This has been a good year for ideas on trips.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
No more Gloom and Doom!!!
People don't realize that when someone asks you how you are, they don't want a run down of all your problems. They want something positive. If your life sucks, think about why and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!! No one wants to hear all your aches and pains and complaints. Even the people who tell you they don't want you to feel sorry for them... they do too! Or they wouldn't be telling you all their troubles! My new motto is "You get from life what you put into it" (it's my old motto too) Horrible thing is that when I'm around people with complaints, I find that it's contagious! I find that I end up listing mine back to them! The less you think about your problems, the less they run your life!
So, I am coming out of my personal gloom and I have many beady ideas in my head soon to be reality IF they work! LOL I got to go to my fave bead show last weekend. It hardly seems like it was only a week ago... Now I'm beading and ordering beads. Kits have taken off to my shock and delight! So I have funds to order beads to make more new kits! The bead show was mostly fun and it has given me perspective on some parts of my life. ALL those beads!!!! And beady things!!! I got a bunch of size 11's and a few size 15's. A new pair of pliers with purple handles. But mostly I wished I was teaching the whole time. Seeing all of those student badges... *sigh* It’s funny how you are where you are because you are supposed to be, even when you don't know it. Knowing it gives you the lessons you are meant to learn from that and I did that on this trip. I met a couple beady internet friends which was very cool and I decided that I am going to teach beading where ever I can! All those students taking classes and none of them mine! Say it isn't so! I will also NEVER be anyone's punching bag - literally or figuratively. And that life is too short to deal with other people's baggage. You got baggage? That is YOUR PROBLEM! I end up being the venting board for several people in my life. Some I feel sympathy for and some I don't. It's wasted energy being sympathetic to someone who won't do anything to change their situation. Others just have a crappy situation that they are working to get out of - them I will listen to anytime because it's not all gloom and doom!
I saw so many really cool things at the bead show - mostly on other people! I'm going to post pictures of some of the pieces in the competition when I get time. I got the new Harry Potter book and it takes up all my down time! Back to the beads people! BEAD ON!
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Vacation!!!
But the beads keep creeping in....
In my dreams - wherever I am, I see beads! At the mall, the clothes are covered in BEADS! The jewelry is beady! Even the accessories are covered in beads! I saw a biz card case covered in them and if they had not been in colors I don't do.... I would have snatched it up! Makes me want to bead a piece to put on a similar case....
The beads creep in. I have design ideas and I can't wait to get home to try them out!
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Rambling in the summer
I'm pretty excited to have a nice quiet couple days with my sweetie before I go on vacation. This vacation is already packed with fun things! Going to an amusement park and a Ren Faire!!! Spending time with family that I reconnected with last summer and this is a VERY good thing.
Beady possibilities are in the works. I really want to teach other people about beading. It's the most important thing for me. I want other people to get the pure pleasure I get from beads. So if all works out – that will be happening soon!!!
My web site is getting more visitors every day!!! All that hard work is finally paying off!!! http://www.violetbead.com It's my site - I get to have all the say and I get to charge less because I'm not giving anyone else a percentage of my money.
So I might be quiet for a couple weeks but that will mean I'm having fun! Have a great time this summer! Life is too short!
Friday, June 10, 2005
Fair Weather Friends
Case in point this week, I had an acquaintance (My SO's term for this someone who was probably never my true friend in the first place) that had posted inaccurate information on a bead related subject to her blog. I have a real problem with this because there is enough wrong info out there, when it's something I can give facts about on, I try to get the facts out there. No matter how much factual information I handed to her, she kept pushing her opinion, which was NOT supported by the facts from one of the parties involved. Another party in the same beady circle asked me about the situation on IM. I gave my side of what happened. I am afraid that my comments may have been passed along... to the one who isn't mature enough to say something to me personally. It was also alluded to that I moderated the person in question on my bead list. True - she was moderated but the WHOLE list gets moderated when the topic can be volatile. It was not a personal affront: 98% of that list is moderated and it states as much on the front page of the list. I am guessing that due to this, she left all of my e-mail lists, since another party in that same group mentioned it. This is apparently supposed to wound me. Whatever!
It's not about being right - it's about being accurate. I didn't tell the woman I'm right and you are wrong - I told her - this is what the company involved said were the facts. It was the request of the owner of that company that I send her the information. She had closed the blog to further comment and he couldn't correct the facts there and he since didn’t seem to know who she was, he asked me to please make sure she got his information. One person said it was a disagreement and it was not. I didn’t disagree with her; I fed her information, which she refused to use. She then deleted her ENTIRE BLOG. How mature! It's "I can't post a simple correction to keep the blog accurate" - "I can't be wrong, so I won't have a blog at all!" Then she didn't RSVP for the bead meeting we have once a week, but I can’t read much into that because she didn't always RSVP in before all of this happened and seldom showed up at all.
A close non-beady friend pointed out to me that she just might have gotten all she wanted to get from me, that I am no longer of any use to her, so she just did things in the last couple weeks to create a space between us which will just get bigger and bigger and finally become a gap too big to bridge. After sleeping on it, I think my very intuitive friend was right. This person didn't always share the projects she had that I was interested in, however, I did share a couple of my personal favorites with her. On hindsight, I can see that now but I was naive enough to think she would eventually be forthcoming. It's sad but as my SO said - IF she was really my friend, she could take being given correct information and moved forward in this relationship. Maybe it was never a real friendship after all... It was only an acquaintance and it makes me sad that I so believed it to the more than that.
That said, I do have the blessing of a few beady friends, though most of them don't live close to me, who share freely with me. They are the ones I can bounce beady ideas off of. I can send my directions to and they will tell me where I screwed them up! I can vent my feelings to them and not get judged. They are the people I count in my blessings every day. Without them I would probably not be the beader I am today. They encourage me, set me straight, and smack me around when I need it. They are far from being fair weather friends. They are my friends when we agree and disagree. I guess I should focus on them and stop sweating the small shit huh?
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Bring accurate isn't about being right
- I hate it when Japanese size 15 seed bead gets called a size 14. When they are made in Japan, they are sized as a 15. They got called size 14 initially because of the Czech seed beads being popular in a size 14. They did it for marketing but when others tell beaders not to buy one because it won' go with the other is a bunch of hooey!
- I also hate it when people tell others that a little clear Krylon spray will make a galvanized bead stable. I have done it and it makes them awful. I just steer my students away from them all together!
- I hate it when a teacher is so strict as to not let the students learn anything in their comfort zone. Just because the teacher likes English needles, wax and working with short thread doesn't mean his or her students will feel the same way.
- I hate it when "the copyright police" tell people they can't sell or give away a pattern they bought over the internet. You bought it and once you are done with it, you can do whatever you want with is as long as you don't copy it.
- I hate that some bead authors out there publish their work and expect other to buy it - whether it be on the internet or a magazine or book and don't allow them to make and sell the designs. I want the people who spend their money on my designs to know that I have no problem with them selling pieces made from them. Please don't mass produce them but make bead money from them!
- I hate it when people get pissy on the internet and if they are somehow proven wrong, they unsub from the lists and delete things. Why not say - oops - I was wrong - no biggie - that makes me HUMAN just like the rest of the world! Being able to say I am wrong is one of the life lessons I learned from my first office job. My boss could be a jerk but he could also appologise for it. It isn't painful. How mad can someone be at you when you come to them and say you screwed up? Not very!
It's all about putting the accurate info out there and letting the people use their brains and make their own choices. Use the thread you like - use the needles you like - bead on what you like to bead on - wax if you like to wax.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Wait for all the info......
Nymo - is for when I have many passes or tiny holes.
Silamide - I was a nymo or nothing gal till Shala made me try Silamide again. Then I fell in love with the twisted thread that came in many more colors. My trick to threading Silamide is using my flat jawed pliers and making the end flat before threading the needle.
Power Pro/Fireline - for when I need extra strength or am using beads that can cut thread.
Then came this new Superlon and C-lon. While in Nebraska in April, I was introduced to them and told that they were the same thread. I then saw another blog about it and heard that superlon was inferior to C-lon. Also many other beaders loved one and hated the other - even making public statements to that effect. Today I was informed that they are one in the same - from the very same manufacturer only sold under 2 names. The first clue was the exact same number of colors and the exact same 36 names. Then it came in the same sizes. Would have been enough to get most people to come to the same conclusion - IF they had all the info to make an educated conclusion with.
Needles have the same bunch of preferences. There are English needles - Pony Needles and my fave - Japanese needles! I much prefer them because they don't become a bent piece of modern art when I am working with them. They are thicker, so there are times when they don't work well but I have now found 2 different manufacturers (different needle sizes and lengths, so I'm pretty sure they are 2 different ones! LOL) The newer one to me has a much thinner needle that will help with the times when I need a thinner one. I also prefer longer needles.... I have no clue why but it's part of my style of beading. I set things up just so when I bead. As I have said before - I bead for happy. I put the beads in triangle trays - on a plate or tray. I do my beading and when I'm done, I use a funnel to put them away. I HATE mixed beads! That and most plastic beads make me itch!
I guess I have my own specific things I need to bead with and goodness knows that I have lots of opinions! But I would hope that I would get all the info on a new product before I would make any public criticisms of it.
Friday, June 03, 2005
Yard Sale of the Century!
In the paper today:
Garage & Yard Sales - C2-BEADS Tubed, Strands, Loose, Crystals, Misc. Fri, Sat. 9-1. 1/2 mi off Lake. 2922 Quartz Hill. Cash, MC, or Visa
Can you even believe how thrilled I was when a friend told me about this one???? a BEADY YARD SALE??? and it was wonderful... but then I was the first customer - got there about 8:15.... Early magpie gets the sparkly stuff! I knew the lady who had it and had a nice time catching up with her on my 2 visits to the yard sale... well when I got home I realized that I had 2 colors of wolf charm. I can't make earrings for my neice with one silver and one copper can I? So I just HAD to go back and get another of each so I had matching pairs! I got Japanese 15's and 11's and Czech glass on strands! :-) Was way better than a visit to one of the 2 sucky bead shops in the area.... both over priced and one ripped me off when I taught there - so I won't darken her doorstep again! What a way to start a wonderfully beady weekend. Tomorrow I go demo beadwork at a mountain man type of event. Should be a blast! I will come home sunburned and happy.
What more can a bead addict ask for?
Next week all work and no play so I am gearing up!
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Drawing Lines
I am in such a mood today. Pissed off at people who butt their noses where they simply don't belong. There are times when I simply need to be completely ALONE! and I have that right now, so I will write later. Gotta enjoy the peace!
PS even more maddening..... Beadwork.About.com Weekend project is one from Emily who was the guide YEARS ago. Re-enforcing that the current guide hasn't got any bead design talent at all.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Beading for Happy
I don't like the feel of waxed thread. Why would I use something that ruins the feel of beading for me? It would not make me happy
I love thicker needles so I use the Japanese ones. They bend less and come in nice lengths. I like to feel the needle in my fingers.
I HATE culling beads. So I choose to use predominantly Japanese seed beads. They come in yummy colors and finishes and the 11's and 15's make me happy. Czech seed beads are less uniform and have tiny holes. I make the exception for Charlottes.
I prefer not to bead with a doubled thread. It's ten times easier for me to un-bead when I can take my needle off and pull the thread out.
Swarovski crystals are pretty but they can cut thread. So I choose to only use them with Power Pro or Fireline so they have less chance of cutting it.
I am horribly cheap in some ways - I love plated findings - GOOD QUALITY plated findings. Ones that are made from good quality metals and don't tarnish or peel. It gives me more money to buy beads and that makes me happy.
My beads have to be sorted by color/size/shape and are in labeled containers. Organized beads mean that I can find what I want (usually) and that makes me happy.
And IF someone asks me to make something that I don't think will look pleasing - I simply have a very hard time spending my beading time working on it. Once I had a roomie who made a pair of earrings that she thought were awful - I agreed with her. She said the customer paid her and she made them. I stated that I could not have done it - that I would have felt I was prostituting myself to make something simply for money. She said I called her a whore. Had she looked in the dictionary..... She would have seen the 2nd meaning for that word....
"to devote to corrupt or unworthy purposes : prostitute one's talents"
No sexual connotation what so ever. She got huffy and I never discussed her lack of artistic inclination with her again. I bead because I love beads and ideas come from within me to do so. She beaded to make money. If it makes me money then that is fantastic! I have a very hard time parting with my pieces and that is why I am more interested in teaching other people to make the designs I come up with. I can make a piece for an order but I think that I know it's not going to be mine from the start, and that makes it easier to let go of.
Bead for Happy people!
Friday, April 29, 2005
Beady Travel
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Ugly Pouch
http://members.aol.com/violetbead/BEADWORK/greenspeckle.jpg
and I made the one I wanted to make first
but they picked out the colors for this pouch
http://members.aol.com/violetbead/BEADWORK/LimePurple.jpg
I am NOT a lime green kind of person.... so I refer to it as Ugly Pouch only to get scolded.... but I don't care for it - so I can call it whatever I want! lol
I leave in a week for points south then east and I can't wait!
Ugly Pouch has gone to a nice home. It sold a while I was in Nebraska.